Survival

I sometimes feel that I am robbing my readers of the joy of commenting as they would, as my entries have been somewhat "uncommentable". Several have made efforts, and I thank you for them. Yet I have decided to give a post that should be easy to comment on, if anyone so desires...

To let those who are wondering concerning my condition, I am alive. Though Lydia has left, my morale has made desperate efforts to remain sure. In fact, my integrity was so great Wednesday night, that I decided that I was going to really cook for myself. Yes, that is right, go beyond the microwave meals and cold cereal and Anganes visits... "StoveTop Steve" was my goal, and I daresay that I achieved it with flying colors.
Not being the kind of person who has his strength in decision making, I took the obvious route: spaghetti, the all-purpose dinner. Well, the pasta that I found in the cupboard was not exactly spaghetti, but rather "fettuccine," which I assume to be a fancy name for "fetacheenie." Regardless, I found a pot and started boiling some water. Wanting some meat in my meal, I grabbed a portioned slab of hamburg from the freezer. I then put the frozen flesh, placed it in a "Pyrex" bowl, and proceeded to cook it in the microwave, having seen Lydia do this. (I don't know if that's how you're supposed to cook hamburger, as I had only seen it done once, but it worked much better than I expected. I don't know why it's not done more. If any of you know, please inform me:) The water was still coming to a boil, so I took advantage of the radically cool second burner of the radically cool hot plate. Using a frying pan, I decided to start warming the sauce. I decided on using Hannaford’s "Pasta Sauce!" for the sauce and used up half of a can. I found some Hannaford’s "Salsa with Corn and Beans!" in the fridge and added the rest of it to my awesome mix, topping it off with some Hannaford’s "Taco Seasoning!". And finally, I found a bowl of some leftover rice, that looked inedible in its present form, so I tossed that in too. I don't know where or when it was from, but I hope it wasn't too far or too long ago.
By now, the water was boiling, so I grabbed some fetacheenie and tried to put it in. It was then that I realized that I had grabbed the pot that was to small for fetacheenie. But instead of breaking the rigid pasta in half like a brute would, I carefully added pressure to it until the end softened enough to bend it into the mini pot. Once it was nearly in completely, I covered it with a lid and left it for a minute. The hamburg was now completely cooked, so I dumped it (along with all of its grease, because I can) into the saucy mix. I then noticed that the amount of sauce was about double the amount of noodles. oops. That meant more fetacheenie. I gave up on the mini bowl, and got the big'un pot, filled it with a little water, and dumped the contents of the first into the latter. I then put more noodles in the now under-212degreesFarenheit-water; knowing that it would take longer and half of the noodles might be fat and the others crunchy. Oh well.
As I waited for them to boil, I decided to do some dishes, and maybe whistle! Amazing myself on my efficiency of time, I decided to push it further and be efficient on water and energy by not draining the water until I had done the after-dinner dishes. However, when the noodles were done, I had no where to drain them except where the wash water was, so I guess I'll have to think that one through again.
It was then time to mix the sauce into the pasta and enjoy, which I did. I put about half of it on my plate and planned on saving the rest for a later meal. It was quite good, I should say; and very filling. However, as I was finishing the plate and feeling myself getting full, some thoughts came by: "microwaved hamburg," "crunchy fetacheenie," and "mystery rice." I then began to interpret the full feeling in my stomach as other stomach feelings. uh oh... what happens if the first meal that I make gets me sick!?! So as a precaution, I ate some Santitas "Holy Tortilla Chips", and was fine the rest of the evening.